


The Ransom Note

by recklingturtle



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Kidnapping, Midnight Crew - Freeform, The Felt - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-30
Updated: 2012-10-30
Packaged: 2017-11-17 08:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/549643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/recklingturtle/pseuds/recklingturtle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The lovely Ms. Paint has been kidnapped by Lord English and The Felt!<br/>Slick has to go find her and get her back, but will walking right into the enemy's territory really work?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ransom Note

**Author's Note:**

> I went to a costume party dressed as Ms.Paint and I met a Spades Slick so I kind of thought of this the day after because SlickPaint is adorable. 
> 
> Sorry if it's too short or boring, I was also having a really bad day while writing this.

Your name is Spades Slick and you have just discovered a ransom note.

Being in a gang as notorious as the Midnight Crew, you’re used to things like this. People stealing things and demanding stuff back for it. Usually you just take the rest of your crew to wherever those assholes are hiding and get back what’s rightly yours.

But this is different. This time, the felt has taken something from you. It’s not your beloved scotty dogs or one of your many hats. It’s not even your deck of cards or some other piece of shit you left laying around.

They’ve taken your dame, Ms.Paint.

The note, written in a sickly neon green ink, is neat and in calligraphy. English couldn’t have written this, not with those claws for hands. He must’ve had one of his peabrains do it. You begin rereading it for about the hundredth time:

_Slick, we’ve got your lady. If you want her back, come to the Felt mansion alone. If you bring any of your little buddies, she’s dead.  
L.E. and the Felt_

You stare at the page for awhile before crumbling it up and throwing it to the ground in a fit of rage. English discovered your weakness and now he’s using it to draw you in. You can only imagine what methods of torture he’ll use on you once you’re there. And you’re not even sure he’ll let Ms.Paint go.

You put the crumpled up piece of paper into your trunk and write your own note for your crew, explaining that if you’re not back at midnight, go to Felt mansion and kill every green bastard they see.

You load up your weapons, mostly knifes hidden in your suit and hat, and you head out, on your way to rescue your dame.

When you get to the mansion, you gag at the ugly color of green it is. You always hate going there; so many clocks and the assholes that walk around make it less than pleasant.  
As you step inside, you’re greeted by……no one.

What the hell? No one’s standing in the doorway waiting to bust a clock over your head? What kind of welcoming is this?!

Pissed, you storm through the mansion, looking for someone to take your rage out on. You’re the leader of the Midnight Crew for fucks sake! You should be treated better than this!

While you’re going through the mansion, the sound of music and laughter reaches your ears and you follow it. When you get to the source, you find 6/15 of the Felt assholes in a room laughing and dancing around.

But there’s someone else with them. Someone with pale white skin, big dark eyes and the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen. Ms.Paint.

When the music skips, everyone stops and looks over at you, your lady smiling even before her eyes fell on you. You can see she’s happy you’ve come to get her even though she was doing alright without you there.

“Get your hands off her now,” you order, raising a gun and pointing it to the bastard nearest to her. For some reason, he listens, they all do and back away until Ms.Paint is standing alone in the middle of the room. 

You go up to her and she hugs you, smiling and kissing your cheek as she says she was waiting for you to come get her. You almost smile back but there’s some business you need to take care of first. 

You whisper something in her ear and she nods, releasing her arms around you and stepping back, letting you stand in front and shield her with your black body.   
You tell the torsos you’re going to leave with your lady and if anyone follows they’re dead. No one moves and you smirk as you turn and hurry Ms.Paint towards the entrance.

When you get to the door, you come face to face with the bastard that started all of this. 

Lord English.

He’s taller than you remember and before you know it, he’s grabbed your lady and is holding her close, cackling as she struggles in his arms.

His voice is deep and you glare up at him, the sound of hurried footsteps behind you.

You don’t turn around to see what’s coming and you suddenly regret that when you’re struck in the head by what feels like a crowbar.

Before you pass out, you hear the frantic screams of Ms.Paint calling your name and another deep cackle from English.

 

You’re still Spades Slick but now you’re finally awake and your head hurts like hell. You remember what happened but all that concerns you is the whereabouts of your lady. Last you saw her, she was with English.

That bastard, if he were to lay a single finger of harm on her you’d flip your shit and knock out his gold tooth. 

You try to get up but find that you’re tied to a chair. Great, just great. Now how are you supposed to rescue Ms.Paint?

As you’re struggling, you hear someone step in with a particularly odd footstep. It sounds like a hobble and immediately you know who it is.  
When you see that bastard’s face, you glare at him until you notice someone small standing behind his large green body. The person is shaking and wearing something black and green.

It takes you only a moment to realize its Ms.Paint in that awful dress that reminds you of Snowman. She’s shaking and that’s causing a rattling in the gold chain that’s on her neck leading up to English’s cane.

He cackles at you before swinging his staff at your face, hitting you in the jaw and knocking the chair you’re sitting on over. You stifle a groan as Ms.Paint cries your name and rushes forward only to be stopped by the chain and falling backwards, still a good couple feet away from you.

“It’s so nice to see you again, Slick. It’s awful I didn’t have the chance to kill you before. At least now I’ll be able to get it done,” English says in his deep, terrifying voice. “I’m also very glad I waited; now I get this lady in addition to your death. Doesn’t that sound perfect, miss?” 

English is looking at Ms.Paint but she’s only focused on you, her eyes scared and she’s still shaking, tears visible in her eyes.  
“So you’re just going to kill me like that? Quick and to the point? That doesn’t seem fun. A man with as much time as you, I’d assume you’d keep me here for awhile,” you say, moving the chair so it’s not digging into your back so much.

The skull monster pauses for a moment before making an expression that you assume is supposed to be a smirk. “I see you’re not completely stupid, Slick. Of course I enjoy a good show. Maybe I should put one on for you right now with this lovely lady of yours,” he says.

Your attention is quickly turned to Ms.Paint who now is being pulled back to English, kicking and screaming and obviously fighting through all of this. When he gets her, he tears off part of her skirt and she kicks more, trying her best to hold back tears as his green claws cover her mouth.

You’re fighting back now too, wiggling hard against the ropes and trying to get over to them. “Don’t fucking touch her!” you yell but it doesn’t faze him and he continues removing her clothes.

His green talons are already up her mid-thigh when you remember you can detach your robotic arm, something your lady thought of when she was trying to clean it. While the skull monster is occupied feeling up Ms.Paint, you slip off the arm and slide out of the loose ropes.

English had only a moment to look up before you already had a knife and gun out, pointed at him as you charged. The dame somehow managed to move herself out of his arms and you shot at the green monster, causing him to stumble back and growl. 

His mouth opens and light builds inside it. The weird death cannon thing. You remember hearing about it from one of your informers. Before he fires it, you manage to jump away, kicking his cane and taking it from his talons.

By now, Ms.Paint is up and standing next to you, holding onto the torn pieces of her dress to cover herself as she takes shelter behind your black build.  
You hold the cane and somehow manage to change it into a gun. A gun now pointed at the green monster on the floor. Without hesitation, you pull the trigger and fire it at the time lord, watching as he growls in pain.

He isn’t dead, of course not. But at least now you and the dame have a little time to escape.

You pick up your arm from the floor and reattach it before grabbing Ms.Paint and hightailing it out of there, running all the way home with her in your arms.

When you get back to the rest of the crew, they were just getting everything ready to come after you; all they were missing were their backup hats. You yell at them for being incompetent assholes before you feel an arm on your shoulder.

You turn and look at whose it was, looking down and seeing it was Ms.Paint. She’s still wearing that awful dress and you excuse the both of you from the other crew members to go find her something else to wear. 

While you’re walking, she stops and holds your hand, smiling sweetly although you can see something hidden behind those dark eyes of hers. “I’m really glad you came and got me. I was worried you wouldn't come,” she says.

You blink and stare down at her for a moment before smiling a little, something you only do for her. “Of course I’d come and get you. Do you really think I’d let those assholes touch you?” you say in a soft shout. 

She smiles more and stands up on her tiptoes and grabs onto your shoulders, lifting herself up more and bringing you down before kissing you softly.  
The gesture makes you blush and you get worried one of the other members might see you. If Deuce knew about this, he’d blab it to the rest of them and you’d never hear the end of it. 

_“Slick and Paint sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G”_

Yes it was childish, but the other bastards in the Midnight Crew would still do it just to see you get equally pissed off and flustered.

Despite that, you continue kissing her, wrapping your arms around her round but small body and moving with her someplace private. You both stumble out of the hallway into a room kept solely for your enjoyment and you move her over to the desk, setting her down and breaking the kiss.

Ms.Paint looks at you and smiles. “So, you’ve thwarted Lord English, escaped the Felt mansion and rescued yourself a damsel in distress. What are you going to do now?” she asks with a seductive look in her eyes.

You swallow and stare into her dark pupils before moving a hand to her dress. “I’m going to get you out of this piece of green shit and whatever happens afterwards is up to you,” you say.

Her cheeks turn rosy and you smirk, kicking a table nearby and starting your record player before moving back in and kissing your dame like you’ve been wanting to since the moment you read that ransom note.


End file.
